My Friend Sam

I have a friend named Sam.  He senz me fun stuff.  I confess I cracked up under this one. 

I rote him back: Hey Sam,

They missed one below in their list of medical terms under "M": 

“Member.” That's what you can’t do very well when you get as old as me.  

 

I tell you the truth, Sam, I don’t member when I laughed so hard out loud.  Hey, I gotta get Syrias.  I gotta do sum preechin in a few hours. 

 

What’s that ya sayin?  Yeah, I know it’s Monday… but I eat almost every day, so I think it’s okay to go out and do some preechin every day, too.  I do it for fun.  It’s cheaper than golfin.

Ralph
(Note to all rednecks:  Please do not take offense.  Truth is I don't even know what a redneck is.  I might even be one.  Ralph)

Redneck Medical Dictionary Rednecks have the lowest stress rate because they do not take medical terminology seriously You are going to die anyway, so live life  Medical Term Redneck Definition Artery - The study of paintings Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria Barium - What doctors do when patients die Benign - What you be, after you be eight Caesarean Section - A neighborhood in Rome Cat scan - Searching for Kitty Cauterize - Made eye contact with her Colic - A sheep dog Coma - A punctuation mark Dilate - To live long Enema - Not a friend Fester - Quicker than someone else Fibula - A small lie Impotent - Distinguished, well known Labor Pain - Getting hurt at work Medical Staff - A Doctor's cane Morbid - A higher offer Nitrates - Rates of Pay for Working at Night, Normally more money than Days Node - I knew it Outpatient - A person who has fainted Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis Post Operative - A letter carrier Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery Rectum - Nearly killed him Secretion - Hiding something Seizure - Roman Emperor Tablet - A small table Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport Tumor - One plus one more Urine - Opposite of you're out

Oh yeah!  One more think: My friend, Sam's last name is "Balius" which is what we do when our boat is sinkin.

Ralph